The misery of me

Why is it so difficult for people to accept that i write with my left hand? Every time i hold a pen in my hand, i have to go through the cliche phase where some jackass will ask, “Can you write with your right hand also?” That’s when i feel like saying, “Yeah sure!” and writing ‘You are a moron.’ with my right hand !! I hate the other question too.. “Do you eat with your left hand too?”, i mean gimmie a break !! What do i look like to you? No sane (or demented for that matter!) person will EVER wash his/her ass and eat wid da same hand and just to let you know.. i wash my ass with my left hand, so there. That settles it.

Another problem with being pre-dominantly left-sided is that to avoid any on coming collision, i instinctively go to my left. The person headed my way will instinctively go to his right (which happens to be my left!!) The rest is history. I struggled for a day or two on the crowded footpaths of Bombay, but now i have an ingenious method to avoid collision! I jus stop dead in my tracks if I have to avoid a collision and see which way the person moves, thus moving the other way! A victory for personal introspection !!

I experience anti-lefty bias in the form of carrot peelers that are useless, power tools (such as power drills) that are dangerous or even life-threatening, pens that smear and make my writing illegible, computer mice that cause hand cramps. Teachers tried to force me to write with my right hand when I was a child; I stutter, and perhaps that was why.

This world is made for right handers in mind!! Scissors, door knobs, doors, locks.. u name it.. mundane stuff.. its crazy when u think abt it !!

If you thought being left handed was bad enough, put into that a special ingredient called stuttering! I find Bombay in better light with this aspect. People here tend to be more accommodating when one is stuttering.. I think it boils down to how the media portrays it to be.. I don’t wanna see stupid slapstick comedy like we see in hindi movies where one guy (who is stammering a lot) is hit on the head by someone else. Its sad to see scenes like tht..

But i guess what makes ‘me’ is my name! I know wat it means, to others it might be ‘ass fuck’ but i know better. I think its my name that has made me what i am today. Iron clad. I might get laughed at or ridiculed.. it doesn’t really bother me. I am only competing against myself now. I gave up on the ‘average joe’ long ago.

so.. ‘yeh hai meri kahani‘ 🙂

Ok, enough of that now.. it became kinda preachy towards the end there.. sheesh.. Z msg’d last nite asking why i didnt log online.. told her i was VERY busy. To be honest, i forgot. Earlier, i would never have ‘forgotten’.. is this the beginning of the end? Only time will tell..

The D Company is awesome! I learnt about audio standards today! Real audio specifications, not file formats! (.e.g. Dolby 7.1 !!) Now i actually know what the heck it means. The hindsight of this job is that now i get to hear idiots saying, “oh cool, now i know whom to contact if i want a computer.” as soon as they know what i do. DO I LOOK LIKE A FUCKING SALESMAN TO YOU! Go ask him what to buy! If you ask me, i’d suggest a 486 with Kubuntu on it. That should suffice for your word-processing, movie watching, music playing and net surfing needs.. all for a mere 7k max with good Creative Dolby 2.1 speakers.

Catch you tomorrow, same time, same place on Anthithesis! :p

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